37 Week Appointment

Well, I had my 37 week appointment this morning. And there's nothing all that terribly exciting to report. I'm only 1 cm dilated and 25% effaced. Since the baby has settled down in my pelvis, his heart rate has dropped into the 150's. And he's still all lined up, ready to come out. Apparently my body isn't in too much of a rush, though. Which I suppose is fine. I know my body and the baby will know when it's time to make everything happen, but I can't help comparing everything to when I was at this point with Clark. At 37 weeks, I was a good 2 1/2 cm dilated and 50% effaced, and I could feel that my body was out of room.

I feel okay with not going early, but I am still hoping that when the time comes, I'll be more dilated. Ah, but who knows what will actually happen? I should just give up trying to figure it out, but when you're here at the end and you're basically all ready to go, it's hard not to obsess, at least a little bit.

My nurse practitioner offered to strip my membranes next week if I wanted. I'm not sure at the moment. I guess if I haven't made much more progress and I'm really uncomfortable, I might give it a go. As far as interventions go, that one's pretty minor I think. But generally speaking, I much prefer just letting things happen on their own. Now, if it looks like I would go overdue and the possibility of having to be induced comes up, I think I'd definitely go the stripping membranes route to attempt to avoid that. Pitocin doesn't sound like much fun. Last time I had an induction scheduled at 39 weeks, but there was no pitocin in that plan. Since I was already 4cm, my doctor was just going to break my water and have me walk laps around the hospital. She felt pretty confident that would work. Of course, that's not how things turned out. lol

Anyway, my next appointment is in a week. If there's anything of significance to report between now and then, I certainly will.

Yessss!

Well, I finally got childcare lined up for when I go into labor. My friend Maria Figueroa has graciously agreed to take care of Dominic and Clark when the time comes and that is definitely a load off my mind. 

No other real changes, other than yesterday was another day of crazy mood swings. Today I feel normal again, which is nice. 

I guess I'm pretty much all set at this point. I finished up the final baby shopping, and got all of that stuff washed and put away. I suppose there's nothing left to do at this point but actually go into labor. 

I'm looking forward to my Wednesday OB appointment to see how much, if any, I've dilated and effaced. It's really hard not to hope for the same sort of progress as last time - 4 cm before I actually went into labor! That's 4 cm of pain-free dilation! It took 6 hours of labor to get to 4 cm with Dominic. That's the point at which I decided to go ahead and go for that epidural. lol

Nerves!

Last night I had my first case of feeling like maybe I don't want to do this whole labor and delivery thing and gosh, what's it going to be like having a THIRD baby in the house? The hormones were all over the place and I'm sure if someone had just looked at me the wrong way I would have been a sobbing mess. Not that I am against crying - I think I cry my fair share - but I just didn't feel like it, you know?

And of course as I'm feeling all these things and I know they're perfectly normal, a little voice inside of me was noting the irony of it all. I've been dying to get to this point and wanting the pregnancy to be done with and now I'm balking. Figures. I know I'll be fine when the time comes, but as the reality and inevitability of it all sets in - I'll be full-term as of tomorrow! - it all feels a little intimidating at the moment.

Name du jour

Another name change. This is starting to get old...

36 Week Appointment

I was so excited for my appointment this morning, aside from having to stand on the scale. That part is always stressful. Just as I predicted, my weight is headed right where it was for the other two. Which is fine. I guess. :)

Anyway, my excitement turned to disappointment when my nurse practitioner informed me they don't start cervical checks until 37 weeks. Argh. So I have to wait another week to find out if/how much I've dilated. I suppose it doesn't really matter, but I'm still very curious. She was, however, able to tell me that yes, the baby has dropped, and he is head down and all lined up to come out. So that's all good news. I suppose knowing he's head down is more important than knowing if I've had any cervical changes at this point.

What else? This kid's heartbeat is STILL in the 160's! Dominic's was always in the 120's and Clark's ranged from the 130's to 140's.  

Well, back to sitting around and waiting for something to happen!

Things are happening...

Last night I had my first real pre/false labor experience with this pregnancy. Over the past week I've had some crampiness off and on, but last night was definitely more significant. The whole thing only lasted an hour or two, but there were a good 3 contractions that I actually had to think about breathing through. I'm fairly certain the result of that episode was that the baby dropped. I have more pressure in my back and pelvis and my stomach pushes on my legs now when I sit down. lol I'll find out for sure at my appointment on Wednesday.

And so the frustration begins! Things happen, but none of them are any kind of reliable indicator as to when labor will start. It's all such a tease! Oh well - I will continue to post updates as things continue to happen...

2nd Draft

Well, we've already had a slight name update. Thanks to my mother's outrage (okay, I'm definitely exaggerating here) at having this child's first name be a "nickname", Andy relented and says we can name him Benjamin. He'll just call him Benny. So we'll see if that sticks!

I'm officially eight months pregnant now and tomorrow will be exactly 36 weeks, so I guess we're in the home stretch. I am definitely looking forward to my appointment this Wednesday to see if I've started dilating yet. I hope I'm not too disappointed if things haven't started progressing yet. :)

Beautiful

I read this poem on my friend Sarah's baby blog and I just love it. I so believe it's true and I just had to post it here.

from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet

"Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, 
so He also loves the bow that is stable."

Ah! Every time I read it I get a little misty-eyed. :)

Off-topic: My first baby is 4!

Four years ago I became a mommy, and what an amazing experience it has been. 

After 10 hours of labor, Dominic Gabriel was born on Sunday, July 18, 2004 just after 6pm. I can't exactly say it was love at first sight. Among my first thoughts, upon holding this brand new person were, "Hey, he's not ugly!" "I don't feel different yet - you know, like a parent." "Huh - he doesn't look totally like Andy." "What the hell just happened?" "Seriously - what the hell? - I'm a parent now?" 

By the time we left the hospital, though, I was definitely smitten and have been ever since. 

I know I'm the parent, but when it's your first child, it definitely feels like you're developing and learning just as much as they are. I'm often amazed when we reach the big milestones that require parental assistance, i.e. potty training. I find I'm just as proud of myself as of him.

I try to always remind myself to enjoy this journey of learning who he is right along with him. I think Andy and I both made plenty of assumptions about what he would be like when he was first born, and don't you know most of those have been wrong. :) This kid is definitely on his own path, and I'm happy to help him follow it.

Getting ready

Yesterday I did some chipping away at the baby to-do list. I went ahead and picked up the right laundry detergent, along with the Tylenol, Mylicon and saline at the commissary and got all the baby clothes washed, dried, folded and put away. I also then finished up packing for the hospital since I had baby clothes finally ready to go.  Well...actually that won't be finished until I pick up some nursing pads. I probably won't need them while I'm in the hospital, but you never know.

I also packed up two diaper bags - one that will go around with me and one that will stay in the van so when I inevitably forget to stock the other one, I won't be without the essentials. Of course, dividing up my stash of clothes, blankets and burp cloths made me instantly feel like I don't have enough. sigh... If I were to do laundry every day, I'd be okay, I guess, but I don't think I want to do that. So - darn it! - I guess I'll be out shopping to pad my supply of baby basics.

I also realized that in packing for the hospital that I need to pack a bag for the boys, too. I keep a bag for each of them in the car with a change of clothes and diapers and wipes for Clark, so I guess I'll just make sure they're stocked and add a few things (a cup, a few toys). This is awful to admit, but we still don't have childcare lined up for when it's time to have the baby. The neighbor who I was going to ask just upped and left for an undetermined amount of time - marriage issues. My other friends for the most part are also pregnant and will all have brand new babies of their own by the time it's my turn. The two other girls I'm friendly with that aren't pregnant work, so I'm not really sure what we'll be doing. There is ONE person I know who neither works nor is about to pop out a baby, so I'm thinking she'll be first on the list to ask. We're also looking into the possibility of my brother coming out the end of this month to stay with us, since he, my mom and stepdad are visiting the week leading up to my due date. But being able to change his plane ticket at minimal additional cost is a long shot at this point, I think.

For some reason, I am feeling way more urgency about buying more burp cloths than lining up childcare - how weird is that?? I guess it will all work itself out...

35 Weeks

So the new picture I posted today will be the last one. I don't think I need to record myself any larger than I already am! I am sincerely hoping this baby comes early like Clark did. That would be wonderful. And I'd love it if my water broke like it did last time, too. Then there's no question that it's time and the hospital won't argue with you about whether or not you're ready to come in. Of course, the odds of that happening aren't that great, but here's hoping! I think it's pretty exciting that in two short weeks I'll be full-term. I've got plenty to keep me busy between now and then, so I know the time will pass before I know it. 

He says it's a "first draft"

Why, what is that over there on the right??? Is that an actual name??

Yesterday in the car, out of the blue, Andy says, "How about Benny Alexander?" I then asked if his full name could be Benjamin. He didn't want to do that, and truly at this point, I don't care, so I said that was fine. Then he said, "We'll call it a first draft." Geez...

You know, I was certain back in June when I told him he could choose the name he was going to immediately say at least one of those two names. I don't know what's taken him so long. Anyway, I told him he had until the moment I go into labor to change his mind. I absolutely refuse to go to the hospital without a name chosen.

If anything changes, I'll be sure to make updates. 

Destined for boys?

I often wonder if there is any rhyme or reason why people have the particular combination of kids they have. Is there a grand, cosmic reason why I am having all boys, or is it total chance? I know science says it's a 50/50 shot each time, but I still wonder. 

When I look back on my life, there seem to be little clues pointing the way to this life.

My one sibling is my younger brother, Ben, so I've been in the know regarding boys for a good 29 years. I of course felt all those responsible big sister feelings for him, certainly past the time he ever felt the need to have a second mother. One of his favorite things to say to me when I tried to tell him what to do was, "You're not the boss of me." Ah, memories.

My first best friend was a little boy - Danny Boy Allen. We went to the same babysitter and I always preferred his company to anyone else's. I also figured I would marry him. I was 4. 

I have three girl cousins - sisters - and every summer we all spent a week sharing the "bunk room" at our grandparents' beach house in the Outer Banks when we were young. And there was, well, a lot of bickering among them. lol I remember thinking to myself once that if I had to have three of one kind of children, I'd want it to be boys. Sorry, girls, and Aunt Laura, if you're reading this! 

I found babysitting little boys to be much easier - I discovered I hated playing house and with baby dolls and Barbies. Refereeing boys' rambunctious play with each other or just playing games with them was definitely preferable. 

One summer while in college, I worked at a daycare center with 5 year-olds who would be starting kindergarten that fall. I found myself completely smitten with a little boy named Sam. I thought he was the cutest thing ever.

My favorite colors are brown and blue. 

The first time I met my nephew, Nate, in his little blue hat and blue gown, all I could think was cutest. baby. ever. I want one. lol And almost exactly two years later, I did. :)

The final shopping list

I'm such a minimalist this time! I think I've actually got an appropriate amount of things for this child for a change. lol Dominic and Clark both had way too much. So many things went to waste.

Anyway, it's getting close to crunch time and I have a pretty short list of things I still need to purchase. The items can be divided into three categories: Things I Will Be Definitely Be Using Right Away; Things I Must Have But Really, Really Hope I Don't Have To Use; Fun Stuff.

Here they are:

• trial-size toiletries for the hospital
• 2 boxes of nursing bra pads - that should last at least a month
• Vaseline and gauze - for post-circumcision care
• side-snap shirts - they make life a little easier when baby first comes home
• wipes - I have four packs set aside already, but I'm fairly confident they won't last through the first month
• All Free and Clear laundry detergent - and that's what I normally buy, but Andy got detergent last time and you can smell that stuff from a mile away :)
• Infant Tylenol
• Mylicon
• saline
• baby book - I already bought one, but when I look at how pitifully small it is next to Dominic and Clark's, I get major guilt pangs. So I'll be out looking for one comparable to theirs.
• fleece blanket - Both Dominic and Clark have one that's just theirs, so I feel the tradition needs to continue

Besides the shopping, all that's left to do is wash the baby's clothes and linens, finish packing for the hospital and getting out all the gear. I'm not sure how soon to put out the pack and play, swing, bouncy seat, etc. I'm 99.9% certain Dominic and Clark will be trying to sit and climb on it all. Perhaps I'll just let Andy handle that while I'm at the hospital.

Is it August yet?

I am so bored with being pregnant and am so hoping this baby decides to come early. If I could have him now safely, I would totally do it. Well, I guess I would actually want to wait until after Dominic's birthday in two weeks - wouldn't want to mess up plans for his party. :) But right after that, I will be sooo ready to get this done.

I am regretting more and more each day giving Andy the privilege of naming this kid. I told him he had until week 36 to come up with something. He said he'd come up with something on the way to the hospital. I'm pretty sure I didn't laugh at that comment.